Trust this from a single guy who has been to tons of swing clubs in the
50 states. DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY AT CAROUSEL CLUB!!! I made the mistake of looking up a swinger club on the backpage
of the Village Voice. It was a friday and I went on the website and called after
7pm like it was stated. Some old fuck named Jerry on the phone tells me
"Oh! There's a lot of fucking and sucking going on! You better get down here fast!"
So I hopped into a cab and went down to the city. The elevator was cramp and smelled
like cat piss. Once the door open a fat slob named Jerry greeted me.
He stuck out his fat sausage fingers and demanded $160. "But you said on the phone it was
only $140???" "That price is for members only sir. There's an atm around the corner if you
need more money." said the fat fuck Jerry. So I forked over the $160, already feeling ripped off.
Mind you it was already 11:30pm, I saw the grossest old people been fucked by hordes
of smelly degenerates who haven't had a woman in decades. I mean men in there late 40's to
60's. All of the women were old and disgustingly false grunting. It looked
like a horror show of prostitutes being raped again and again.
Now where on his ad which advertised "8 beautiful porn stars" were located
any where in this shit hole dank of a "club". So I went back to the fat fuck and asked him about this bait and switch.
"Oh we get a late crowd. And the porn stars I invited sometimes show up and sometimes they don't.
You see our lovely bartender over there, why don't I have her give you a private hand job?"
I told the old fat fuck to go fuck himself and I demanded my money back. This is when
he starts to blubber some nonsense and offered me a beer and a free return comp pass.
Again, I told him to go fuck himself. You lie to people with this bull shit bait and switch scam?
You trick guys and couples to stick around and wait for these phantom porn stars to appear?
He then told me to go fuck myself and he wasn't going to give my money back for staying over the
one minute in my 5 minute tour.
"So you really want me to call the cops on how some fat white fuck robbed me of the money I
hand marked that are sitting in your pocket right now? How will the cops feel when I can
id my own money you scammed from me? Seems you're already having a bad night, do you really think
a squad car down stairs is going to generate more customers for you?"
Jerry the fat fuck grumbled as he handed me back all of my money. But as the elevator closed, he threw his empty
beer bottle at me and it smashed up as the door closed. Fucking bad mistake. You shouldn't fuck with a
guy who carries a shiv. I knew what he drove from reading postings like this. My knife
craved out some nice flats on his fucking cadallic down stairs.
He ran down stairs breathless with some damn wetback mexican. Are you fucking serious?
I just smiled at him and told him to call the "cops". Ladies and couples, please avoid this club at all
costs. It's not worth the money, the time, or the std's I saw some of these girls had.
You have been warned. - James
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